Blessed

Today and last night I have felt so very blessed. I just feel so filled with gratitude. The past few days I have been so stressed and emotional and last night I felt like I finally couldn't take it anymore. It was hard for me to even focus on doing my reading for my American Heritage class I was so stressed. At this hard time I had roommates that I have only known for a few days being so loving and compassionate and talking to me, a loving aunt and cousin come visit me, and a good friend come over that brought me the greatest comfort over all. I know that the Lord watches out for us. That His tender mercies are over all who come to him and put forth faith and effort. He knows our problems and concerns and knows how to bring us comfort if we but come to Him first. He cares about us more than we know and loves us. I now feel such a sweet and tender peace and the love from my Heavenly Father. It is so amazing to me. 
Love,
Abby

Time Truly Does Heal and then some

 Frame that I painted and decorated (picture is of my niece Annika)

 Flowers made from Keenan's old t-shirt. I tea dyed some and used geraniums and beets for the others.

As I was driving yesterday I was thinking about how time really does heal emotional wounds. It's amazing how I can look at myself now and see how much I have healed from losing my mom. I am so much stronger. As time goes by you just kind of get better and better, learning little by little. When trials hit, you aren't always so sure how exactly you are going to handle them. But if you simply wait it out you can find that the load gets easier in a way. I have found that it is so important to talk to others through your trials. If you don't it's like you are trapping a beast inside of you. Talking and writing things out are so often an emotional release for me. I have also found that by reading my scriptures each day I am just stronger in dealing with the pain. I think about her and miss her each day but I believe that one day I can see her again and that this was made possible through my Lord and Savior. I'm not giving up, I'm going to keep going. That's what she wants me to do and that's what I want to do. Life is too short to be unhappy and miserable about something for too long. Anyways, we don't want to be "a bunch of losers" as mom would say.
Love you mom
Love,
Abby

Missing

My favorite picture of me and my mom from my last high school play

Lately there are a couple things that I miss a lot about my mom. The first thing may seem kind of silly, foolish or vain but I miss it anyway. I miss how my mom would buy me things. She loved buying me things. Whether it was off the internet or at the store. And no one can do that the same. 
The second thing that I miss is the incredible advice she would give. It didn't matter if she was trying to take a nap or feeling so sick, she loved to give me advice. She told me that I could tell her anything. Sometimes she would just know that something was wrong with me and usually I would go hide in my room. Then she would knock on my door or just come in and she would ask me what was up. It didn't matter if it was a little problem or a big problem. Each problem that I had was so important to her. She just always knew what to say and her words were just configured in a way that was so great. I just wish that I could tell her about the special ed kids that I work with and ask her for advice with them. I just know that she would know how to solve about every problem I had with them. She would tell me how to deal with Eli running off on me and what to do when Freddy told me "no" all the time. She would teach me how to love them no matter what.
I miss her touch. Mom was always so touchy feely and I miss the feel of her hand on my arm or the wonderful hugs she gave. But I am so grateful that one day I can see her beautiful face again and feel of her sweet and completely loving touch. I can't wait to see her the way I knew my mom to be-happy, healthy, and energetic. I am so grateful for the Plan of Salvation that I believe in and for the strength that it gives me. I know that the Savior lives and loves me and that there is a way for me to get where my mom is. I love her and can't wait to see her.
Love you mom
Love,
Abby

{Whole Wheat Doughnuts}

This is the Sunday treat I made today. I seriously ate like 10 or 12. But they are healthy with their whole wheat, olive oil & pumpkin right :) Here is the link: http://www.texanerin.com/2011/10/100-whole-grain-baked-pumpkin-doughnuts.html

 These ones I glazed with blueberry sauce (courtesy to Aunt Christie) and topped off with powdered sugar.

 These ones are with the buttermilk glaze that was with the recipe (I liked this better).

YUM! I have missed baking because so many people have been bringing us yummy treats. So glad to get back in the kitchen. 

My Creations for a Cutie (My niece Annika)

                                        A onesie that I sewed on a heart to

                                                                Cupcake clip :)

                                                                         Fish Clip

                                                               And a flower Clip

Family is where my ♥ is

So yesterday was Dusty's homecoming and it was SO fun! We had a bunch of family and friends come from WA and Oregon so that was so great. I am so grateful for family and the blessing that they are to me. I really have an incredible extended family on both sides and they are just so supportive and great. 

The Whole family at the Tri-Cities airport

Me and Dusty :)

Molly (and Anneka), me, mom, and Grandma

So I have decided to stay home for fall instead of going to BYU. It was one of the hardest decisions I've made but I felt like it was the right thing to do so I could help take care of things at home. It is such a tender blessing to be able to take care of my mom and to give back so much of the caring she's given to me back to her. I love her dearly and am so thankful for her example in my life. She has taught me so much and, because of her, I feel like I am so much more ready to succeed in the world. She is one of the strongest people that I know. 
So it is pretty nice to kick it here at home and to be able to spend time while my WHOLE family is home...SO FUN. I also get to see Molly's baby (when she is born) a lot more so that's simply wonderful. My family is the greatest
Although being home can be pretty great I've really been missing BYU...A LOT! But the past couple days I've been more ok with it, it'll all work out in the end. BYU is great but I feel like right now this is where I'm supposed to be. Sometimes the Lord has a completely different plan for us and we can either learn to accept it or be bitter against it. Accepting may not always come quickly but by striving to do so we can gain it. Once we accept the plan that He has set out for us, so much peace and blessings can flow into our lives. I trust Him completely and am so thankful for how much he has blessed me with this miraculous Gospel and family. I AM SO BLESSED!

Life in General

It's dreadfully easy to not think about what life truly is, getting caught up in the particulars of it. Life is fragile, yes. Life is such an incredibly small moment in time when we think about it in an Eternal sense. Really, this earthly life is just a blink in time. I am so thankful for the Plan of Salvation and how much of a testimony I have gained of it. I know that there is a life after this where we are able to live with our Father in Heaven and live forever in happiness. It's so easy to get caught up in thinking that a little thing is so important or is such a catastrophe. However, when we put things in an Eternal perspective we can see how minutely important that thing is. Life isn't easy, it wasn't meant to be. But if we can have the perspective that this life is only a small moment, it can make those hard things seem a little simpler,a little easier.