Shine On!

"Stand"

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh

[Repeat Chorus]

Some people are meant to be and deserve to be in your life and some people aren't. It's funny how you can think someone is so perfect and so great and then when they aren't in your life anymore, you realize how wrong they were for you and who they really are. It doesn't necessarily mean that they were a terrible person, but that you deserve something better, something different. Why do we deal with people that don't let us shine? Why do we allow people to push us around and don't stand up for ourselves? Is it because we are weak? No, maybe it's because we are scared. Maybe we love that other person so much that we are scared to tell them that they are hurting us. Maybe we are just scared of what they will think. Maybe they just make us feel like we are the problem when in actuality they are the one's that are treating us like objects. It's amazing what you want to say to that person in your head but you don't have the courage to tell them face to face. You just want to yell at them, tell them they're wrong, and be mad and angry at them. But what good is that going to do? All it is doing is concealing the real emotions that want to shine through--the sadness, pain. 
Why do we want people in our lives that we know aren't good for us? Why do we allow them to hurt us? I guess it's only human to want things we can't have. Some people say you don't move on until you find someone else. The heart is a fragile thing. Each person's heart goes through pains that everyone around them could not even imagine. More people are hurting than we could imagine. What if we just took a minute each day to sit down in a public place and look at all the people around us and remember that so many of them are hurting too. I can only imagine. 
One thing I learned from my aunt is to say silent "I love you's" in your head to those around you, whoever they may be. Even to random strangers! I have found that this truly works and how amazing it is!
Another thing that I've been learning more and more lately is to live in the present. If we are thinking so much about the future and the past then that will only lead to anxiety and unhappiness. But if we remember to be "right here, right now," then we will be living in the moment. I believe that that is the way Heavenly Father wants us to be-living in the moment. There is so much more joy to be found when we are doing that. When we just focus on where we are right now and progressing with what we have right now. It's amazing how we can shine on when we do this. So shine on today! Be where you are right now and discover the happiness that comes from that. Shine On!

STOP IT!

Ok so I am just super pumped right now. As a future special educator and having grown up in a home where my parents were both special educators, this article really hit home. I have been telling people for a long time, DON'T SAY RETARD! Each of these perfect human beings don't deserve to be degraded by others throwing around this word. I love these beautiful people so much and I wish that more people could see their beauty, because it is amazing. If people would just take more time to get to know these incredible individuals, they would lose the desire to use this word. 
This article is amazing. It is written by a 26-year-old man with down syndrome. It will help you to gain a perception of why this word is so socially incorrect to be used as a degrading slang word. I am passionate about this! I hope that as you read this article you will choose to refrain from using this word to put down friends as by saying it, puts down those who really do have special needs. As President Uchtorf says: STOP IT! 
Here is the Link:
http://www.denverpost.com/commented/ci_10351963

Calling All Mr. Darcy's: A tribute to Mr. Darcy

Ok so seriously. Where is Mr.Darcy! I am so sick of guys who play games. Playing all these games makes me just want to lay on my bed and watch a classy chick flick while eating expensive chocolates and Ben and Jerry's ice cream :) Ok so maybe it isn't realistic! But what the heck! Where are all the honest and true Mr.Darcy's! Of course I don't expect someone to be just like him but there's got to be someone with some of his qualities! Here are some of his amazing qualities 


Qualities of Mr. Darcy:
Honest
Unconditionally loving
Thoughtful
Loyal
Charitable
Romantic


Extra's:
Rich (So maybe not a quality, but certainly a perk ;)
Tall and Handsome
Wears awesome outfits!


So thank you Jane Austen for putting an unrealistic dream in young girls hearts...


Sincerely,
An impatient Elizabeth

Missing You Today

I'm missing you today mom. I've been missing you more and more as the time goes by. It's so hard not having you here. I miss conversations with you and your amazing advice and knowledge about life. I just want you back. I wish you could help me deal with the problems that I face. However, I guess it helps me to be more independent. The more you're gone the more I realize how much I am like you. Sometimes I can literally feel you in me-my love for children and babies, my gravity towards special needs kids, my love of life, my desires to be healthy and my love of desserts :), my creativeness, my love of people, my desire to work in an orphanage. It amazes me how I want to do so many of the things that you did. Mom I miss you more than I can express. I miss your smile and your laugh, attitude, unconditional love, hugs and kisses, and just being able to talk to you. I wonder if you are doing alright. What are you doing mom? I love you so much. 
Love,
Abby

Molly Joy (Jean) Beus

So this post goes out to one rockin sister. The best part of today was when we were both laying on the ottoman and talking about the "cra cra" wedding reception I am apparently going to have. We for sure laughed until we cried! I love that we have the same humor {i.e. Asian, Southern and Iclandic accents, sarcasm and scenarios} I have been told by one of my roommates after I skyped with Molly and Annika one day that it was like I was talking to myself. Let's just say that It's easy, take things you like and make them different. If you like Molly make her your sister. 
Molly thanks for being an incredible example of an amazing mother. If they do what you teach them they are going to be amazing kids like me :) I love you Molly and you are a wonderful example to me. 
Love,
Abby

Happy Mother's Day Mom

Happy Mother's Day Mom! Here's a Lemon Blueberry cake for you :)

I think you would've really liked this one!

Flowers for your gravesite with the new grave stone. 

I missed you a lot today mom. Thanks for the example you have set for me. I miss you as my rock in my life. I miss your sweet loving hugs and you asking how my day was. Mom your amazing and I'm so glad that you still live and are doing things that you couldn't have done in this life. You are in my heart and still influence me. You definitely live on. I know you still are with me more often than I know. Thanks for still being here. It's so hard being without you but I know that you needed to go on and do greater things. I love you so much mom. Thanks for your incredible influence.

Love,

Abby

People

It is so amazing how you can be at the right place at the right time. One of the greatest blessings to me right now are my roommates. I think that I am supposed to be living where I am at right now. I think that relationships with other people are one of the most beautiful things. People are important. They are more important than science, animals, possessions, and money. People are important. I am just so intrigued by them. So often at college I find myself looking around at individual people and getting curious about them. Why do they act the way they do? Why are they the way they are. Everyone carries a story with them. We have no idea what is behind the masks that people wear. I guess that's one reason why I love working with mentally handicapped kids so much. I love learning about why they act the way they do. It is so fascinating. When we learn why people act the way they do we know how to treat them. I think that that is so important, to treat people how they need to be treated. To be sensitive to their specific needs and desires. 
We are surrounded by people, every day. Get to know them. Make an effort to reach out to someone who looks like they are having a bad day. Talk to someone new. Look for opportunities to help others. You never know when something simple you do can mean the world to someone that day. Love them. Make them a priority. 
Love,
Abby

 Almost the whole fam :)Miss you so much Mom. 

 Absolutely love them

Me, and 3 of my roommates: Kira, Sarah, and Lauren. 

Counting Sheep

So basically I am getting really tired (get it) of not being able to sleep. I have tried a bunch of different things including melatonin, listening to the sound of rain on youtube, and reading to help me sleep. Yet I still end up waking up multiple times during the night. I guess there are worse things but I really just want to have a good night's sleep! It's been a while! So if any of you have any suggestions for someone sleepless in Provo I am open. Other than that I have been doing pretty good. I have been very blessed with so many things while here including skype, cousins and a loving aunt and uncle, and being able to be at such an amazing campus. But I would like to get some sleep!
Love,

Abby

Blessed

Today and last night I have felt so very blessed. I just feel so filled with gratitude. The past few days I have been so stressed and emotional and last night I felt like I finally couldn't take it anymore. It was hard for me to even focus on doing my reading for my American Heritage class I was so stressed. At this hard time I had roommates that I have only known for a few days being so loving and compassionate and talking to me, a loving aunt and cousin come visit me, and a good friend come over that brought me the greatest comfort over all. I know that the Lord watches out for us. That His tender mercies are over all who come to him and put forth faith and effort. He knows our problems and concerns and knows how to bring us comfort if we but come to Him first. He cares about us more than we know and loves us. I now feel such a sweet and tender peace and the love from my Heavenly Father. It is so amazing to me. 
Love,
Abby

Time Truly Does Heal and then some

 Frame that I painted and decorated (picture is of my niece Annika)

 Flowers made from Keenan's old t-shirt. I tea dyed some and used geraniums and beets for the others.

As I was driving yesterday I was thinking about how time really does heal emotional wounds. It's amazing how I can look at myself now and see how much I have healed from losing my mom. I am so much stronger. As time goes by you just kind of get better and better, learning little by little. When trials hit, you aren't always so sure how exactly you are going to handle them. But if you simply wait it out you can find that the load gets easier in a way. I have found that it is so important to talk to others through your trials. If you don't it's like you are trapping a beast inside of you. Talking and writing things out are so often an emotional release for me. I have also found that by reading my scriptures each day I am just stronger in dealing with the pain. I think about her and miss her each day but I believe that one day I can see her again and that this was made possible through my Lord and Savior. I'm not giving up, I'm going to keep going. That's what she wants me to do and that's what I want to do. Life is too short to be unhappy and miserable about something for too long. Anyways, we don't want to be "a bunch of losers" as mom would say.
Love you mom
Love,
Abby

Missing

My favorite picture of me and my mom from my last high school play

Lately there are a couple things that I miss a lot about my mom. The first thing may seem kind of silly, foolish or vain but I miss it anyway. I miss how my mom would buy me things. She loved buying me things. Whether it was off the internet or at the store. And no one can do that the same. 
The second thing that I miss is the incredible advice she would give. It didn't matter if she was trying to take a nap or feeling so sick, she loved to give me advice. She told me that I could tell her anything. Sometimes she would just know that something was wrong with me and usually I would go hide in my room. Then she would knock on my door or just come in and she would ask me what was up. It didn't matter if it was a little problem or a big problem. Each problem that I had was so important to her. She just always knew what to say and her words were just configured in a way that was so great. I just wish that I could tell her about the special ed kids that I work with and ask her for advice with them. I just know that she would know how to solve about every problem I had with them. She would tell me how to deal with Eli running off on me and what to do when Freddy told me "no" all the time. She would teach me how to love them no matter what.
I miss her touch. Mom was always so touchy feely and I miss the feel of her hand on my arm or the wonderful hugs she gave. But I am so grateful that one day I can see her beautiful face again and feel of her sweet and completely loving touch. I can't wait to see her the way I knew my mom to be-happy, healthy, and energetic. I am so grateful for the Plan of Salvation that I believe in and for the strength that it gives me. I know that the Savior lives and loves me and that there is a way for me to get where my mom is. I love her and can't wait to see her.
Love you mom
Love,
Abby

{Whole Wheat Doughnuts}

This is the Sunday treat I made today. I seriously ate like 10 or 12. But they are healthy with their whole wheat, olive oil & pumpkin right :) Here is the link: http://www.texanerin.com/2011/10/100-whole-grain-baked-pumpkin-doughnuts.html

 These ones I glazed with blueberry sauce (courtesy to Aunt Christie) and topped off with powdered sugar.

 These ones are with the buttermilk glaze that was with the recipe (I liked this better).

YUM! I have missed baking because so many people have been bringing us yummy treats. So glad to get back in the kitchen. 

My Creations for a Cutie (My niece Annika)

                                        A onesie that I sewed on a heart to

                                                                Cupcake clip :)

                                                                         Fish Clip

                                                               And a flower Clip

Family is where my ♥ is

So yesterday was Dusty's homecoming and it was SO fun! We had a bunch of family and friends come from WA and Oregon so that was so great. I am so grateful for family and the blessing that they are to me. I really have an incredible extended family on both sides and they are just so supportive and great. 

The Whole family at the Tri-Cities airport

Me and Dusty :)

Molly (and Anneka), me, mom, and Grandma

So I have decided to stay home for fall instead of going to BYU. It was one of the hardest decisions I've made but I felt like it was the right thing to do so I could help take care of things at home. It is such a tender blessing to be able to take care of my mom and to give back so much of the caring she's given to me back to her. I love her dearly and am so thankful for her example in my life. She has taught me so much and, because of her, I feel like I am so much more ready to succeed in the world. She is one of the strongest people that I know. 
So it is pretty nice to kick it here at home and to be able to spend time while my WHOLE family is home...SO FUN. I also get to see Molly's baby (when she is born) a lot more so that's simply wonderful. My family is the greatest
Although being home can be pretty great I've really been missing BYU...A LOT! But the past couple days I've been more ok with it, it'll all work out in the end. BYU is great but I feel like right now this is where I'm supposed to be. Sometimes the Lord has a completely different plan for us and we can either learn to accept it or be bitter against it. Accepting may not always come quickly but by striving to do so we can gain it. Once we accept the plan that He has set out for us, so much peace and blessings can flow into our lives. I trust Him completely and am so thankful for how much he has blessed me with this miraculous Gospel and family. I AM SO BLESSED!

Life in General

It's dreadfully easy to not think about what life truly is, getting caught up in the particulars of it. Life is fragile, yes. Life is such an incredibly small moment in time when we think about it in an Eternal sense. Really, this earthly life is just a blink in time. I am so thankful for the Plan of Salvation and how much of a testimony I have gained of it. I know that there is a life after this where we are able to live with our Father in Heaven and live forever in happiness. It's so easy to get caught up in thinking that a little thing is so important or is such a catastrophe. However, when we put things in an Eternal perspective we can see how minutely important that thing is. Life isn't easy, it wasn't meant to be. But if we can have the perspective that this life is only a small moment, it can make those hard things seem a little simpler,a little easier. 

College

So originally this was just going to be a blog about all my crafty stuff but tonight I just feel like writing. I have some mixed up emotions right now. Life can be so crazy, especially when at college. Most of the time I am just having a blast (minus all of the studying) but it's those moments when you're all alone that you feel so alone (ironically). Sometimes you just feel like there's no one there for you. It makes me think about how amazing my family is. They are just incredibly supportive and I am so thankful for them in my life. They are the ones that are my best friends in my life, the ones that are always interested in what I'm doing no matter where I am at. They love me unconditionally and that is an amazing thing. I know that whenever I feel utterly alone I can always think about those people back home that are the ones that truly matter the very most. I love you guys!

Miss you guys so MUCH!

Love, Abby

{The Latest}

Headbands for Miss "M"

                                               Purply Vintage

                                             Funky Monkey

                                             Down to Earth

Fancy Fabric Flowers Continued

 Then take the fabric off of the cardstock by pressing on the fabric with your hand and forearm to ease it off. After that get a pencil and roll the fabric up moderately tightly

 After it is rolled up slip the pencil out and use tweezers to tighten the center. Just grab the end of the fabric that's in the middle and twist.

 Then hot glue the rose onto a piece of felt and cut it out.

 To add the second strip to make the flower larger just hot glue and wrap around the already glued flower as you go (I've found that you get a bigger flower if you do this rather than starting out with an extra long fabric strip).

 And there you go!!!

I embellished my new scripture case with this flower by adding a pin on the back. I also put some coral tulle around the flower and hot glued it.